Smart or 'dumb' phone? Six questions every parent should ask before buying their child's first phone

• The transition from primary to secondary school is a common time to start talking about a child’s first phone.
• Parents now have more choice between smartphones and more basic feature phones.
• A digital education expert says some important conversations need to happen to work out what will be best for your child and family.
• Parents are advised to consider their child’s own strengths and behaviour, as well as what influence peer pressure could be having on the both of you.

A fresh cohort of young people across the UK have just embarked on the next step of their educational journey - secondary school.

Many families will now be navigating the seemingly treacherous waters of an all-too-important decision, with the year five to six transition a common time for the conversation about first phones to begin. Smartphones, with the access to the likes of messaging apps and social media algorithms may be plagued with risk, but can also provide valuable social and digital learning opportunities.

Some parents are also opting to get their children feature phones - more basic devices that can call or text and have a few other basic bells and whistles. But these more simple phones often don’t allow internet access or app downloads, which parents say can help protect “too young” children from their potential pitfalls just that little bit longer.

Mum-of-three Emma Robertson is the co-founder of Digital Awareness UK, an organisation that works with Vodafone to promote safer and more responsible use of technology. Here are her top six questions parents should ask themselves before getting their child their first phone:

Can my child self-regulate?

All children are different, and Ms Robertson said it was worth considering whether your child would be able to find a “healthy balance” with a smartphone. “A good starting point is to observe how they manage other devices in the home, such as laptops, games consoles and tablets, paying special attention to how they are impacting activities like their sleep hygiene, socialising with friends or family and keeping active.”

If you feel your child might struggle to use their phone in a healthy and balanced way, you are not alone. “It could suggest that they’re not quite ready for a phone and need support developing their tech habits. This might include setting clear limits, creating a routine, [or] monitoring their use for a trial period.”

From her conversations with parents, Ms Robertson said that many found a feature phone to be a good way to ease their child into managing a smartphone responsibly. “However, it’s worth bearing in mind that feature phones can be quite limited in terms of what they can do and aren’t always the first choice for children, so it’s important to weigh those factors in your decision.”

Should my family create a ‘device agreement’?

The families Ms Robertson spoke to at Digital Awareness UK were advised on various approaches to setting boundaries around device use - from a formal, signed contract stuck on the fridge to a more informal verbal agreement about expectations.

“It is helpful when those boundaries are established before giving a smartphone to your child to avoid negotiating. It also gives the child a sense of ownership of expectations from the start,” she said. “We’ve come across various contracts covering everything from how you’re going to treat other people online through to agreements within the family like whether devices are allowed at the dinner table.” 

Other conditions could be around keeping bedrooms device free at night for a better sleep, sticking to age restrictions on apps or games they use, and setting out how they will communicate with you if something happens that upsets them. “There are so many different things that could be covered but ensuring your child is aware of the boundaries and restrictions is important - and usually, children respond well to that structure,” she added.

Creating these boundaries together could help make sure the phone is a positive addition to your child’s life, Ms Robertson said. “So, the question of whether your child would benefit from having clear boundaries  is a good one to ask yourself. And why not make it a whole family effort and create safe and healthy boundaries together for everyone.”

What is the reason for giving my child a phone?

A popular reason parents get their children a phone is peace of mind, knowing they can contact them if they ever need to. But children were often motivated by wanting to keep up with their peers and be part of the social interactions happening online, she continued.

“It's important to help your child understand that having a smartphone is a big responsibility and that there is a lot to consider when it comes to wellbeing and safety,” Ms Robertson said. “And, there may be other things to consider - for example your child may accidentally drop it, leave it somewhere or lose it.

“If your child is young and you want them to have a device to help ensure they’re safe walking to and from school, a feature phone can be a great choice as it allows you to stay connected without a big investment or exposing them to unnecessary risk,” she said. “Making the right choice for your family and questioning motives is no simple task, so take your time weighing up the risks and opportunities before deciding what's best for your child.” 

Is peer pressure influencing my decision to get my child a smartphone?

Peer pressure can have a strong influence on both children and parents alike when choosing a phone, Ms Robertson said. She said many parents told her they got their child a smartphone because the lack of social media access left them feeling excluded.

“Fears around social exclusion is a sentiment that many of us can relate to, but it also presents an important opportunity to help your child understand that peer pressure alone should not be the driving force behind making big decisions,” she continued. “Talking to your child about managing device-related peer pressure can be a sensitive but important conversation that should be approached with empathy and understanding. 

“Encourage open discussion and draw from your own experiences of feeling left out. Ultimately, buying a phone should be a choice based on what feels right for them and your family.”

How can I connect with other parents?

Coming together with other parents to discuss concerns and share experiences could also be really helpful - even on social media. “The current movements promoting a smartphone-free childhood can create space for encouragement, support and solidarity. There are no silver bullets, and knowing we are all in this together can make us feel more confident about our choices.

“If parents - especially the parents of your child's close friends - all chose to delay smartphones or introduce feature phones for their children, it would create a situation where children and their parents feel less peer pressure,” she continued. “Not everyone will be in agreement, of course, but taking a stand collectively and finding others who share your values can be empowering for everyone.”

How can I make sure my child uses their phone responsibly?

Your child will likely need your help navigating the risks and opportunities of being online as they grow. “Supporting their children to use messaging apps, social media and gaming platforms safely and responsibly can be a challenge for parents,” Ms Robertson said.

“There’s so much for children to navigate, and whilst there are many benefits for children in the online world, sadly many will encounter inappropriate content, pieces of misinformation or need help when it comes to switching off and finding balance,” she added.

“What's important is that parents stay informed and actively support their child as they make mistakes, overcome any challenges and learn how to manage digital life in a way that is positive for their wellbeing and safety.”

If you feel you need to brush up on the potential challenges your child might face online, you should check out Vodafone’s Digital Parenting Hub. It has plenty of information on building digital literacy skills, open communication, and helping children feel safe to share any concerns or questions they might have.