I would be crying for help as he attacked me on the street in broad daylight but no one stopped him

Eve Donnelly 39, from Kensington, faced a three-year campaign of physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her ex-partner who was subsequently jailed for 23 years.

Eve has rebuilt her life and now works to support women and girls who have experienced abuse and shared her story in the hope of raising more awareness about the prevalence of violence against women and girls – and to show things can get better.

There are some signs to look out for, Eve said: “It can be gradual or it can be straight away. The abuse can happen behind closed doors or out in broad daylight.

“They might shower you with gifts, flowers and expensive things, but then it starts to change bit by bit until one day they’re checking on your every move, who you’re talking to and isolating you.”

Eve returned home to Liverpool in 2014 after spending a year living in London. She said she loved her time in the capital but was homesick and excited to be back in Liverpool. Not long after returning to the city, Eve was contacted by a man on Snapchat who invited her to attend a music festival in Sefton Park.

Eve said: “It started off pretty bad, straight away and within five days he smashed my face into the coffee table.

“Because I’ve never had any experience of domestic violence in my life I didn’t know how to register what happened. So when he said ‘I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want you to leave’, I believed him.

“They can start off so kind and caring so when the abuse happens it’s incredibly confusing. There’s also shame and embarrassment so you’re less likely to confide in your friends and your family.

“Self esteem starts to be eroded away as you become increasingly vulnerable – to the point you actually start thinking ‘I deserve getting a smack and the way he’s speaking to me’.

“Within weeks, my ex was knocking me unconscious on a daily basis. I was battered black and blue and I’d be using stage make-up to cover the cuts and bruises.

“I was coming into work with black eyes and my head was swollen. He ripped out my hair, punched me in the face and spat on my clothes. He would lock me outside in his back garden naked for up to 45 minutes at a time.

“There was sexual abuse as well as the physical assaults and emotional torture. He would rape me whilst I was unconscious.

“It wasn’t even hidden or discreet and there were plenty of times he would attack me on the street in broad daylight. I would be crying for help but no one stopped him and nobody in the neighbourhood came to my aid.

“That’s interesting isn’t it and not uncommon – why do these men feel safe in assaulting women in public spaces?”

After three years of hell, the abuse ramped up to such an extent that Eve couldn’t see a way out, so she made a decision: “When I knew I could kill myself, I was happy and I felt euphoric because I knew I would be away from it all – it felt like the only escape. It’s so tragic when I think about it now.”

Eve picked the day she would take her own life and met with family and friends – saying nothing – and just enjoyed being with them, believeing it was the last time. That night Eve said she went to bed and had the best night’s sleep in years.

Before she could execute her plan, Eve was viciously assaulted by her partner, she said: “He went mad and his eyes rolled over. I thought he’s going to kill me.

“He ran out of the kitchen to get a knife, but I managed to get up and sprint out the door and over the road where my friend lived.”

This is where everything changed and Eve credits Merseyside Police with saving her life and offering the support she so desperately needed: “I know different people’s experiences are different, but I was lucky and my experience with the police support officer was fantastic, but this isn’t always the case.”

Eve’s ex-partner was eventually convicted of rape, sexual assault and physical assault in 2017 and sentenced to 23 years in prison – with a recommendation he serve the full term. After this, Eve began to rebuild her life and subsequently graduated in Criminology from the University of Central Lancashire in December 2022.

- Subscribe to our free Liverpool World newsletter to get a round-up of the latest news, sports and food & drink.

In 2023, Eve founded rEVErse Northwest CIC which provides a safe space for women, children and young people with experience of male violence. Eve is also keen to address the associated issues around the justice system and convictions rates for some of the most heinous acts – only an estimated 5% of cases involving rape make it to trial, and only about 45% result in a conviction.

In the the year ending March 2024, the police in England and Wales recorded 1,350,428 domestic abuse-related incidents and crimes. Of these, 851,062 were recorded as domestic abuse-related crimes.

The Office for National Statistics estimates that 3.8 million people aged 16 and over experienced domestic abuse during the same period.

However, Eve also wants to offer hope to those who have experienced and/or are experiencing such violence, she said: “Justice is not impossible, but drastic and profound change needs to be made to improve safety for women and girls and that also includes the justice system.”

Eve and her colleagues are already offering wide-ranging support and plan to roll out even more provision in the near future – including working with schools such as Liscard Primary school who have embraced its work since day one.

The aim is to provide a comprehensive wrap-around service including person-centred therapies, counselling, Reiki, coffee mornings and educational workshops for children and young people.

rEVErse’s tireless advocacy for the safety of women and girls is something which has caught the attention of officials across Merseyside including Chantelle Lunt who is the ward councillor for St Gabriel’s ward in Knowsley.

Cllr Lunt said: “We need an urgent conversation to address the silent pandemic of violence against women and girls. It’s important organisations such as rEVErse – who support survivors of domestic abuse – are adequately resourced and supported financially over the long term.

“We need a campaign and we need a collective effort to talk about violence against women and girls. We need visible campaigns. I think we need more support services and we need safe spaces for women and girls to go.”

Analysis of violence against women and girls by Knowsley Council showed referrals to Safer Communities Service Professional pathway increased in 2023/24 and a third of referrals were high risk. Furthermore, data shows more than one sexual offence is recorded every day in Knowsley with many of these associated with the night time economy – and that’s despite a drop in figures.

Earlier this year, The Femicide Census was published after being commissioned by the violence against women and girls (VAWG) sector. The data showed Merseyside has the highest rate for femicide in the whole of the UK with Knowsley identified as the worst area in the country.

A spokesperson for Knowsley Council said: “Tackling the rate of femicide in the borough is a priority for the Council and we are working closely with our partners, including the police and domestic abuse services, as part of our commitment to ensuring that Knowsley is a safe place for women and girls.

“In March, we approved a further £1m permanent investment into domestic abuse support. This will support existing domestic abuse support provision in the borough, such as domestic abuse services and early intervention.

“We are also investing in e-learning, training and development ensuring that professionals across the council and partner agencies can spot the signs of domestic abuse at an early stage and ensure appropriate support and interventions are in place to prevent the abuse from escalating.

“The council also launched a new domestic abuse awareness campaign in November last year, which continues to run across our platforms. The campaign aims to raise awareness of domestic abuse, how to spot the red flags in relationships and how support can be accessed.”

Last month, Police and Crime Commissioner Emily Spurrell and Merseyside Police joined forces with Knowsley-based domestic abuse charity The First Step to raise awareness of domestic abuse and coercive control.

The campaign will be visible across Merseyside – with posters, leaflets and vans with advertisements highlighting some of the key warning signs for people to look out for and uses survivors’ voices to highlight abusive behaviour.

Nonetheless, the issue of violence against women and girls is national issue and is something which came to the fore recently with the reaction to Stephen Graham’s Adolescence Netflix drama.

This was something which resonated with Eve who deals with these issues on a day-to-day basis, she said: “I think male violence against women and girls has always been danced around. Nothing’s really dealt with head on.

“I feel like now with some male influencers and misogyny, that messaging is at the forefront of a lot of young men’s daily lives. Worryingly, young boys are looking up to these people.

“In that world, to be a top fella, young lads are thinking they have got to look a certain way, act super masculine and aggressive and say really mean things – that’s what’s being sold as cool. We are working hard to address these issues.”

“If anybody reading this needs any form of support, please reach out to us or any DV service, because we will help you get the correct advocacy.

“Our staff are absolutely fantastic, all have some experience of DV and they’re passionate about supporting people. We want people to know help is available and to not give up hope.”

To find out more details and support the work of rEVErse, please visit its website HERE.