'I'm open to dating but I'm lazy with it,' says N-Dubz singer and Cheshire resident Tulisa

Self-styled as the ‘Female Boss’, Tulisa says that fame for fame’s sake is not her priority as she focuses on herself and living quietly near her closest friends whom she can trust. After falling victim to a tabloid cocaine sting which she claims caused her life to fall apart, she’s not a quick to step into the spotlight.

“I want the ability to do the things that I’m passionate about and earn income off that,” she says. “I’m more focused on business and property investments outside of fame, so that I don’t have to be in the fame world if I don’t want to. The only thing I guarantee is I’ll never step away from is N-Dubz.”

In 2013, undercover reporter ‘Fake Sheikh’ Mazher Mahmood posed as a film producer and met Tulisa at luxury hotels and restaurants, claiming she offered to procure cocaine in exchange for a lead film role. She was arrested and charged with being concerned in the supply of a Class A drug—a charge she denied.

The high-profile trial collapsed in 2014 when the judge found Mahmood had likely manipulated evidence and lied under oath. He was later jailed for 15 months for perverting the course of justice.

Now 37, Tulisa - who most recently appeared in I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here! last year - has written Judgement, detailing the sting, the trial, and its aftermath, recounting the set-up, sensational headlines, press intrusion, two suicide attempts, and the collapse of her career, despite being exonerated.

“It just felt like it wasn’t going away, just never ending. Career-wise, cool, I was free, but the damage had been done. Certain brands didn’t want to go near me, some people didn’t want to work for me anymore. There are still people walking around thinking I got done for doing cocaine, which wasn’t the case at all.

“There was so much damage done and not enough information out there of what really went down. After all that happened, I actually didn’t want the attention of being in the spotlight and exposing it all again,” she says today. “It’s only now that I’m in a more peaceful place that I’ve been able to go back to it.”

Working as an X Factor judge under the tabloids’ eye, having a sex tape leaked by an ex-boyfriend, and the drugs trial left Tulisa floundering. She was unable to make the completion mortgage payment on her Hertfordshire mansion, lost her deposit, and had to give the house up, moving into a number of rented flats instead.

“I also had a million quid in legal bills, so it was a nightmare. The only reason financially I was able to survive is because of my songwriting. I have royalties which continue for the rest of my life. So if it wasn’t for being a songwriter, I would have been absolutely finished financially.

“I’m a very spiritual person and I’m a big believer of what is meant to be is meant to be. I’m very happy and proud of the person that I am today. I’m a lot more comfortable in my skin and I wouldn’t be this person without every single experience that I’ve had. So personally, I wouldn’t change a thing. ”

“Somehow I’ve just got back to this place now where I think I’ve balanced my vulnerability, but I’ve also got that old savage in me that doesn’t give a s***. There’s been a lot of healing, a lot to figure out, a lot of self awareness and self therapy. It’s not been the easiest 10 years. Being kind to yourself is key.”

Having lived alone for 8 years, Tulisa says she’s comfortable in her own company, but has had her eggs frozen to keep her options open in the future. “What I will say is that I currently have a long-standing emotional connection with someone in my life, but I remain single for now.

“I’m open to dating but I’m quite lazy with it. If I’m going to end up with someone, it’s more than likely that it will be with someone I already know. I’m not really into new connections. I just don’t have the energy. If I do it, I feel like the man’s got to really make me want to have kids and set the tone in an environment that makes me go, ‘Ok, I like this’.

“I really would need a 50/50 partner.”

But, for now, she’s content to look after herself, exercise, and focus on eating healthily. “I go easy on myself in terms of being kind in the way that I speak to myself,” she says. “In this day and age people are very harsh on themselves when it comes to self talk.”